38~ I Didn’t Realise How Much I Missed You Until I Met You Again

'I didn't realise how much I missed you, until I met you again.'

~Judy Wolff to Liz Burritt

So, suddenly my days were numbered in my Vancouver home. Laughter; camaraderie; stories revisited and stories new; lovely moments, hours and weeks shared. A Canadian bubble of love. Mama Wolff hit the nail on the head when she said to Liz, “I didn’t realise how much I missed you, until I met you again.” 

Reese, with an intuitive sense of ceremony, played master of ceremony at my leaving meal on my very last night in my Vancouver home. Reese had gathered the party with an announcement of, “Put up your hand if you know Jess.” From here she called upon the guests, instructing them to say some words. She cut some dead that were not cutting the biscuit, seeming disappointed with Robbie’s utterances and moving on quickly. I had not heard what Mama Wolff had said until Liz’s toast. She told me she remembered the first time she saw my little 5 year old freckled face and she loved me from that very moment and also how apt Judy was with her words- Liz had not realised how much she had missed me, until she saw me again. Before this very unexpected and lovely farewell dinner, many more adventures were had.

Reese, Jack and I had snubbed the park and headed for the woods- games of spies and adventures was how we spent our days. These two with their make believe brought me right into new worlds and we had hours of fun. As I regressed into childhood, Genevieve and I reenacted childhood fun woih a grown up twist. We biked her neighbourhood (a favourite and daily past time from being kids, our bikes just a bit bigger and better), we hiked a mountain (our conversations possibly quite different but probably similar topics), we had dinner out (no BBQ hot dogs this time but a beautiful vegetarian feast at 'The Acorn' on Main Street, accompanied with a lovely cocktail as opposed to nasty pop), for afters an 'Earnest Ice Cream' where the queues get 50 deep (heavenly ice cream, with flavours that reflect the BC farms, showing our tastes had changed from the obligatory slurpee and candy we would opt for at the age of 8).

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” 
― Albert Camus

I had time with McKays and we hit up Jericho Beach- a much visited place during childhood.

We looked back over old photo albums with the Burritts. Kate remembered in detail the story we acted out here- maybe you could comment and explain this photo, Katie D?

I had a mini holiday planned with Laura McKay and as soon as I got back from the North of B.C I would head downtown to travel to ‘The Island’. Sounds kind of sci-fi but this is how the Vancouver types refer to Vancouver Island. I expected the McKay clan but it turned out that it was just me and Laura. We would head to Parksville where we could stay at her aunt’s house and just chill together. Laura is in the throngs of last minute wedding preparations, working overtime and feeling burnt out. This little jaunt was just what the doctor ordered. 

It did take us 7 hours, via sky train, bus, ferry and 2 other buses on the Island to reach Parksville and we reasoned that we could have been half way across the world but you know, it was a pleasant trip together, chatting and catching up on that precious one to one time that you do not always find time to have.

We had early nights, cooked nice food, picked blackberries that we put on our morning porridge, read our books. We felt that we were the same as when we were kids, minus the trampoline and opting for a shared nainamo bar and popcorn in front of some episodes of ‘Sex and the City’, rather than candy and freeze pops. Also, there were other confirmations that time had passed: I touched up the greys in my roots, rather than sitting practising the art of braiding in front of a ‘My Little Pony’ episode, and Laura who now had breasts and had no need to stuff her top with two water balloons.

Laura had to head back to work and I was going to seize my opportunity to visit my birthplace and explore a little more of ‘The Island’. After all, I had travelled 7 hours to get here! I headed to Ucluelet and had a couple quiet days hiking around, staying in a lovely low key hostel. I loved the thrashing ocean hike and the scenery around.

It was a long bus ride to Victoria. I had booked to stay on the YHA which turned out to be rather depressing. A hostel that resembled a factory with no cosiness whatsoever. It made me appreciate Ucluelet all the more-  a hostel where the manager made bonfires and people shared food and stories, where there was low lighting and general lack of uniformity. This hostel was huge with a big turnover and an interesting diverse bunch. Here I kept myself to myself and observed all sorts- it was also Labour Day weekend so many youngsters where here for a night out in B.C’s capital. When I arrived I walked the town and harbour which was surprisingly poorly lit and empty. It seemed a little creepy and perhaps a little dangerous to be out on my own! There were some surprises and lone, quiet German traveller I met in Ucluelet had simply raved about this city- he believed it be one of the most beautiful cities he had ever visited. I had to say, I was surprised eith his verdict. The Parliament Building all lit up made me smile when I finally made my way back to town. But it seemes a little Disney-esque.

I intended to meet Mahina, my train husband. He had made promises to take me to the beach and organised a meet- never to be seen and disappearing completely off whatsapp. Suddenly I felt like a demanding wife- not the role I was willing to play. Although brutally rebuffed, I have to confess I was more annoyed to delay in hiring a bike and exploring alone; I was more than happy to do that! I did not need a lacklustre train husband to make promises he was unwilling to keep. I presumed him to be dead or perhaps with a girl who was unhappy of his friendship formed on a train! Fortunately Jessica, my buddy fromYin Yoga Retreat, had sorted me with 3 foodie recommendations and this made up for being left high and dry. Habit coffee: YUM! Heuvos Racncheros: WOW!

I was to be rescued from my rebuff from Bernie and Mary. You may remember them from a blog back in June, entitled Love and Lobster in Lunenberg . Yes, they had returned from their honeymoon (a jaunt around Europe which entailed 15 stops in 17 days or something crazy like that; when I called Bernie and asked about their time, he said: “Bloody knackering!”) and yes, they would love to see me and take me out for dinner. My knight in shining armour would in fact be Bernie and Mary; I had to look out for the blue volvo with the roof racks at 6pm outside my hostel. That day I caught the bus and did a hike to the top Mount Doug where I could enjoy a panorama of my birth city. It poured with rain and I had to shelter under a tree for quite some time. When it rains, it pours. 

Thank goodness for Jessica K’s foodie recommendations and for Bernie and Mary- this is what made my trip worthwhile. I think I expected to feel something, stomping on the ground where I was born. I had felt so moved in Montreal and got choked up at times in Quebec. Almost like I could feel a connection to my parents and their former life together. 

My time with Bernie and Mary was beyond special. They took me for dinner and shared stories and jokes. I laughed so much because Bernie is a joker and great at doing a deadpan face that breaks into a twinkle, wink and a laugh. They have great stories of their time in Europe; it is literally “Couch Trip” for those that have seen the programme. An array of characters and a tour guide that hosts the excursions. They had taken a disposable camera and had some photos that they took me to see, later at their apartment. As Mary and I conversed about their European honeymoon and being in new places, Mary said something that I really loved about travel. She had never thought that she would be venturing afar, secure in her Island surroundings, and particularly at her age she felt travel was not on the cards. But wherever you go, no matter how different the place or people may appear, there is always a common thread with which to bond. Something to make you feel connected. Humanity and how we are. From something even like a shop, or a bus stop, a shared smile with a stranger, a beautiful sky, the smell of a flower or a familiar or curious feeling in the breeze. It is something that I have felt when I arrive in every new place, and there is something beautiful about it. Yes, it aint all sunshine and rainbows, but the fact that we have connections as human beings, that we inter-are, is massively comforting, liberating and enlightening. Bernie tells me that Mary is the sexiest woman that he has ever known. You’re embarrassing me, Bernie. Don’t be embarrassed, Mary. Most women your age are dried up old prunes! I am left blushing but also laughing. We have a lovely dinner and Bernie is insistent that he wants to show me something in Victoria, so in the rain we drive up to Mount Tolmie where we can get a view of the whole city. Lo and behold, a vibrant rainbow appears behind us and a wonderful sunset, changing drastically within the moving clouds. We are all amazed. Bernie helps Mary to a better vantage point.

He wants to show me more- he is so proud of Victoria. Well, I say, my dad always talks about he day I was born, without fail relaying the sunny morning that mama Wolff gave birth in the lovely hospital of Victoria, EVERY birthday. Bernie points out the hospital and we clamber back in the car so we can drive by it. He pouts out the cancer hospital too and also the nut house, where he and Mary joke they may be soon, clawing at the walls. Apparently moving in together at 80 poses all the same troubles that occur in younger years. Bernie just does not fold the towels right and Mary has too many clothes filling up the wardrobe. The merging of belongings and sharing a home after years alone can cause a little friction, although these two always punctuate any complaint with a compliment and a laugh. Bernie loves to drive fast around the roundabouts and Mary claims he is taking years off her life with his boy racer ways. I realise at one point we are travelling with no lights. I am learning a lot about relationships and how I would like to be. This couple are an inspiration. We have hot drinks, look at the photographs and enjoy their apartment. I am told by Mary that I am family and Bernie tells me I am a rare being. I am so touched, feeling the same of them and that they have transformed my Victoria experience into one of beauty. I spend the following day embracing the sunshine, writing postcards and reading about Fiji. I sit outside the Parliament building and instead of being unimpressed, marvel at it's loveliness.

I return home, to the Burritts. It is quite the trek; a bus out of Victoria, a ferry and two more buses.I  love walking dorn the tree lined streeet, many mornings I run it- it is a view that really conjures up that unbeatable ‘I am home’ feeling. The kiddos are there and so is my Canadian passport for pick up. I am a Canadian! Holding two passports I feel somewhat spy like. Reese has her 5th birthday party with Ariel as the guest of honour- this is perfectly full circle. Kate and I first bonded when I invited her to my 5th birthday party. The kids and I enjoy the library and we ride the bus to the beach for a picnic. 

I got in as much Liz time as possible- we had walks, babysat the kids and watched my favourite film (thank you, Eve), ‘The Shift’. Liz also hosted a sleepover for Reese, Kate and I. Kate and I had booked a weekend in the city. We would stay with Dan and he would give us his bed- we would hit a restaurant, have a drink, bike round Stanley Park and have some 1 on 1 time. Of course when Reese heard about this she was desperate to be included. This is when the special girls sleepover was planned. 

We had tacos and sweet treats, just like back in the day. Our film of choice was ‘Enchanted’ (Thank you Evie Symons- this is still a favourite!) and it is safe to say that the adults enjoyed this as much, if more, than Reese. Harvey took himself to the basement to watch sports and we heard him shooting pool too. I guess it probable he may have emailed Richard with some more Melissa/Marissa (potato/patoto!) photos.

I had an afternoon with my Godfather  and his lovely wife Sylvie. I also met his daughter, he was always the most fun and a Peter Pan type so it is quite different to see him in the dad role- great, though. 

I saw the McKays one last time and Ward and I sat reading bridal magazines as Laura had her final dress fitting!

Kate and I had a perfect weekend. Our pension as we called it was pretty damn good. But as it was Kate’s little bro, we fell in to bad big sister habits. Appalled with the skanky bits of left over chocolate and lack of snackage, enraged that there was no shampoo for us to use, complaining the porch was too hot with no breeze, we realised we had become a little too princess-y and most certainly like bullying older sisters.

Here we are applying a bit of make up over our sweat!

And we were in fact the skanks- post the Grind, we stayed put in our sweats and went shopping. We only showered because we would head out to a restaurant that had captured my taste buds when first visited with Genevieve. A veggie delight. I went to my first Tiki bar. Kate spotted it and from the last drops of sunshine on Main Street, we entered a world of darkness, bermuda shorts and damn good cocktails. Chatting and being together on our own, in exactly the right moment. Bliss. Although I was irritated by our perfect barman and Kate angered by a bitchy girl in our restaurant, who was rude to me as I tried to get by. Other than that we were blissed out and feeling blessed. Kate was also in slight shock and sneaking moments of apprehension- why had Keith not been in touch? 

But she didn’t want to assume anything and just kept on the down low… So we had an awesome Sunday. Dan went off to the News room to get ready to anchor. We refused his offer to make us eggs and when he left we turned our noses up at the full dishwasher and the pots. We were being nasty big sisters again! Dan had been nothing but super lovely- he even shared his ice cream with me when we got in and poured Kate a glass of wine! We started our day with great coffee in a magic little neighbourhood spot, hiring bikes and pedalling around Stanley Park. We took our bikes on the boat to Granville Island and ate smoked salmon, caper and cream cheese bagels from the market, bench side in the sunshine. We somehow managed by the skin of our teeth to make a foot massage appointment. We had thought we may have to cancel (running late and Kate’s guilt creeping in that she should get back home!) so somehow all the stars were aligned and we had this shared joy. Kate had a massive oil chain mark up her leg and our feet were covered in a similar filth to the days of childhood but what could we do? Kate’s masseur thought she had a really odd (and I am guessing, utterly crap and ugly) tattoo. We laughed and read Hello magazines.

We returned to calm in White Rock. Keith had a tasty dinner on the go and the kids had been great. Well maybe we should go away more often. But unfortunately with just a few days left, it was time to pack. Us girls, Nell, Odette, Liz and Kate had one last yin yoga session. They gave me the most beautiful necklace, named a 'Follow Your Dreams Talisman'. The handcrafted (in a Vancouver studio) talisman features an eagle with wings spread, which is symbolic of the freedom obtained by following your dreams, the rose signifying the passion that is ignited by doing what you were meant for. I love it. In between my thumb and forefinger it sits heavy and feels perfect. It is cast in reclaimed sterling silver and bronze from a 19th century wax seal. 

“We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.

Even longer,' Pooh answered.” 

~A.A Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Like Keith said, as we feasted on British Columbia salmon, orzo salad (Kate was a true domestic goddess, on top of being a working mama!) and Okanagon peach cake with blueberries, “What better advertisement and reason to come to B.C than this?” Good-byes were very tricky but there was the feeling that the next time we would be together would not be so long away and this softened the blow. I also knew that it was time for the next leg of my trip. To venture out into the unknown and to be alone again. Those words ran a banner in my mind, as I looked out the window and headed back to the station that I had arrived at, just 3 months before: “I didn’t realise how much I missed you, until I met you again.”

Closing quote is from a favourite childhood book, read by both myself and Kate on one of our many sleepovers:

'You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing.'

~E.B White